21 Days of Cleansing For Clarity

October 1st - October 21st 2020, I decided that it was time to step away from my routine commitments (or should I say distractions) so that I can replenish my inner energy to invite clear thoughts, reflection and insight to myself. After starting a new job, moving back to a familiar space and beginning a personal passion venture, I felt confident in my new choices and lifestyle and I did not want to lose my authenticity or momentum. Like anyone else, I love connection and being “in the know” about the lives of my loved ones and peers but during this time of newness for myself I found that I was overly committed to the lives of everyone else. I began to feel as if there were many noises intentionally and unintentionally clouding my thoughts, ideas and daily decisions. I recognized many of these distracting noises to surround me daily from the things I choose to consume such as music, social media, youtube, people, blogs etc. So my intention for my cleanse was to be restrictive to the recognizable distractions in my life.

The timing of my cleanse also allowed me to indulge in a solo road trip on the final 4 days of my cleanse. I’ve always been one to enjoy time alone in my own space but to indulge in a solo road trip initially felt selfish because I was traveling without inviting anyone to join me, spending money on a road trip that could instead go to some adult responsibility and spending my time for 4 days of my trip doing only what I wanted to. These initial sentiments showcased to me that even without my routine distractions it takes a lot for me to do something that is simply for me without hesitation, explanation or a validating approval from someone else.

Once I was able to move past those sentiments, I was able to release and enjoy the liberation of my solo trip. I drove 3.5 hours by myself. I explored the city by myself. I spent time outside in nature by myself. I enjoyed time with myself doing what I wanted. My mornings started off slow to allow the initial overwhelming “What am I going to do today?” feelings to run its course and then I allowed myself to just be. I did my best not to let societal expectations of time to consume me (i.e. breakfast by this time, sleep at this time, etc).

Now as my trip and my cleanse are both coming to an end, I want to continue to build a comforting relationship with myself that is motivated by my own voice, validation and influence. This could entail annual solo trips for myself, selective consumption of my daily distractions, and allowing myself to engage in self — defined enjoyment daily. In the words of Lauryn Hill “How you gonna win, when you ain’t right within?”.